Celestial Fire

Just as when you awaken from a good night’s sleep, there  is often some reluctance to climb out of your warm toasty bed to greet the day, and begin a routine that you may feel is unwarranted . The same may be able to be said, about any Awakening process in general, and with the drastically increasing numbers of people undergoing various types of awakening I can only image the effect on the collective  consciousness as we are guided towards something amazing.   As I hear more of my friends, as well as others talk about their experiences, I cannot help but reflect on some of my own experiences  over the years.  Many of which, came with profound growing pains.

For me the challenge was verbally expressing my emotions, as well as all the thoughts that were going on in my head as I moved through pivotal phases of my development.  Obviously when the primary form of communication is speaking, you naturally want to retreat inward when you can’t find the words that accurately depict how you feel.  As a result, I often found comfort (and still do)  in being around animals, as they always seem to understand what was going on, and verbal communication is not necessary.

When I did begin to become more verbal, I would say things like “I feel this or that”, or would say things that caught others by surprise.  One of the more profound moments in my life , occurred when I was around six or seven years old.  My mother had brought my sister and myself over to a family friend’s house for a visit.  As soon as I entered the breezeway to the house, I started screaming that I didn’t want to go any further because it was too sad in the house.  At the time, my mother didn’t understand what I meant, and dragged me further into the house, with me in extreme distress.  Only moments later my we found not only our family friend, but a number of others sitting around the kitchen table crying because there had just been a death in the family.  At that moment, my mother had realized what I was walking about, and was shocked that I was able to pick up on such things.

My childhood continued to be full of moments like that, and as soon as I was accustomed to a certain experience, a new one would follow, and I would have to go through a more profound awakening experience.  Needless to say, by the time I was twelve years old, I was considered a little “weird”, although  I was always able to maintain good friends.

However, as I got older and had to interact in society more often, I found it harder to be myself, and would filter myself so I would fit it more easily.  Overall, I ended up spending eight years (ages 15- 23) trying my best to be “normal”, and overall things went fairly well.   Although I still had profound psychic experiences, I tended to keep them to myself because I didn’t want anybody to think poorly about me.  This didn’t change until I was in my early 20’s.  I had an inner desire to start to express my experiences but didn’t know how.  To make matters more interesting, I also started having dreams of other times and places, and would often dream about a blonde woman who would talk to me about all sorts of things.  Eventually, I would at times lay in my bed in the early mornings and actually hear the woman from my dreams talking to me when I was awake, and I always enjoyed the conversation.

I also found her accent refreshing, and familiar although I have never been able to place it.  As time went on, I discovered writing started to become easier for me.  As a result, I started to write down many of my experience and dreams, but to be honest there were many times when I found it difficult to make the practice routine.  This is something that I’m still working on to this day.  

Writing has become an outlet for me, and has helped me express my thoughts and emotions.  Which takes me back to the original reason for writing this.  As I have continued to hear more from friends and others, about their own awakening experiences I have wondered what they did or are doing to help them move through the process.  Has writing become a beneficial outlet for them as well?  Or has some other from of creative expression such as drawing, painting, or creating music taken root in their lives.  These are some of the curiosities that I’ve been recently thinking about.  If anyone feels comfortable sharing, please do :).